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Choosing the first dance as husband and wife. All eyes will be on you, and everyone will want to know why you chose what you chose. No pressure, then.

You see, you have to pick something that MEANS something. But, what if lots of songs mean something to us? What if we don’t have an ‘our song’?? The definitive tune that sums us up in three verses and a chorus?? Most people don’t. It really is, for most, a bit of a defunct thing, this concept. Especially if you’re into your music and have a million and one songs to choose from. Mr B. and I have a fair few songs that mean different things to us. Various markers in the sand of times in our journey together that sparkle and stand out. To choose one to rule above all others? Well, that was tricky.

The one we went for in the end was Then He Kissed Me by The Crystals. It’s the one from Goodfellas where Henry Hill leads Karen through the kitchens of the Copacabana club in a pivotal moment where she realises that he isn’t ‘in construction’, but she doesn’t give a hoot. It’s one of our favourite films. We’d watch it most weekends as the perfect hangover movie. We know it probably word for word. We love the great and imperfect love story of Karen and Henry. And it’s a unique song to choose.

After the wedding, when I used to train for runs, this song would come on my iPod, and I’d only go and get all misty-eyed. Embarrassing. It was always as I passed the ice-cream van in Crystal Palace Park. The man selling the ice-creams must have thought, “oh no, here comes the sobbing jogger again.” So silly. Such is the power of cementing the specialness of a cherished song in your first dance as husband and wife. I say dance, we sort of flopped about for three minutes, failing to avoid each other’s feet. It was smooth.

The lyrics are perfect, too…

Well, he walked up to me
And he asked me if I wanted to dance
He looked kinda nice
And so I said, “I might take a chance”

When he danced, he held me tight
And when he walked me home that night
All the stars were shinin’ bright
And then he kissed me

Each time I saw him
I couldn’t wait to see him again
I wanted to let him know
That he was more than a friend

I didn’t know just what to do
So I whispered, “I love you”
And he said that he loved me too
And then he kissed me

He kissed me in a way
That I’ve never been kissed before
He kissed me in a way
That I wanna be kissed forever more

I knew that he was mine
So I gave him all the love that I had
And one day he took me home
To meet his mom and his dad

Then he asked me to be his bride
And always be right by his side
I felt so happy, I almost cried
And then he kissed me

Then he asked me to be his bride
And always be right by his side
I felt so happy, I almost cried
And then he kissed me, and then he kissed me
And then he kissed me

Songwriters: JEFF BARRY, ELLIE GREENWICH, PHIL SPECTOR
And Then He Kissed Me lyrics © WINDSWEPT HOLDINGS LLC

So how do you choose the first dance? Here are six tips:

1. Get a list of lots of songs, say ten or so, as a shortlist. You can whittle down from these much easier than choosing one from hundreds.

2. Be careful it’s not something with a meaning you didn’t realise it has. So many people choose Every Breath You Take by the Police (about stalking) or Perfect Day by Velvet Underground (heroin addiction).

3. Pick something with a good dancing tempo, i.e. slowish so you can get into the rhythm. Essential if you both have two left feet!!

4. Choose something everyone can enjoy – people will rescue you from dancefloor loneliness at some point during the song. Phew! Give your guests something they also enjoy.

5. Above all, don’t be under pressure to pick a ‘classic first dance’ song. If your choice is weird, be weird. Love your choice.

6. And if you’re like us, the shortlist will become second, third, fourth…twentieth dance! Have your runner-up songs populate the rest of the playlist.

So, what will your first dance be?